I'm shaking as I start this blog on December 28th 2007. This will not be posted right away, but a little earlier this evening I was informed that Jenessa Byers, my Boey, had passed away today. I don't think this blog will be that coherent, but I will try.
I am an avvid American Idol watcher. Have been since around season 3. The day I saw Chris Daughtry on during Season 5 in 2006, I was hooked. I was so hooked that I started to go on the American Idol message boards. This was in January. Then I had started to see a thread posted called the "Support Boey Thread". I didn't go in right away, simply because by the time it caught my eye, there were way too many pages, and since I had no clue what it was about, I didn't go in cuz I didn't think I'd catch up. In the meantime, my love for Chris was growing fast. The last time I was that transfixed on someone's talent was and still is the Backstreet Boys. So I continued to visit the boards, and one day, decided to make a fanbook of letters I would collect from his fans and hopefully get to give to him during the tour that summer. Shortly after making that decision, something told me to go into the "Support Boey Thread" and I did. The thread was very rarely off of the front page, so it had to be something interesting. Immediately after entering the thread, I was drawn in to a then 6 year old little girl's story of her battle with cancer. A CHILD with cancer? It's hard enough to swallow when an adult has it, this was just horrible. I then began to see a lot of myself in her, because she was such a tough little girl. My life in no way compares to a battle with cancer, but we share the same spunk, that's for sure! I thought, her being so drawn to Chris HAD to get back to him somehow! So I privately messaged her parents on the board and asked them if they'd mind me dedicating a few pages of the fanbook to their daughter. They graciously accepted my offer and away I went with creating 4 pages for her. A friendship quickly formed on the boards between myself and Rob and Rachel Byers. I am the first to admit I have a ton of friends online, but the bond I've shared with this family and Boey herself will always amaze me. It's not something everyone is lucky enough to have in their lives, ever. The day was quickly approaching that I'd hopefully get to meet Chris and give him the book and I found myself sad. By that time, I was already extremely close to the Byers family and had even formed a relationship that would only grow with Boey and felt sad that I was meeting her bald hero before she got to...IF she got to. I'm not one to think negative, but with the amount of times a child doesn't feel well when they have cancer, you worry by instinct. I was quickly put in my place by her family to go and enjoy myself though.
Even as late as that day, I didn't have tangible backstage passes at that point, but I was bound and determined to get that book to him personally and not have some security guard do it for me. So my friends and I went early and just walked around the parking lot. Then we heard about a line for backstage passes and we went as fast as we could. Sometimes they don't give out extras, so I was really worried. I quickly began to get questioned on the book though, and the first pages I'd show were Boey's. Luckily, one of the people giving passes out saw me out of the corner of her eye and heard me talking about the book (100 pages), and without question, handed my friends and I passes. I was going to complete what I thought was Mission Boey and make Chris aware of his biggest little fan! I said my hellos and handed him the book and immediately asked him the question "do you know about Boey?" and he did. My first and only thought was THANK GOD he knows about her. I'm not selfish so I didn't care that I wasn't the first informant. Just knowing you have a little girl who is your biggest fan, fighting this ugly disease had to be heartwarming and heartwrenching for him, but it was very necessary in my heart that he knew about her because not only had her courage and strength captivated me, her bond to "her Chrissy" made me melt. He was what kept her going when she'd see him on TV.
Boey then went on to meet her Chrissy herself on that same tour, and on his own with Daughtry and throughout all of this OUR bond only grew. I would talk to her parents daily, on the phone and online, and I'd even put the Absent Element and Daughtry CD's in when she got her port accessed which was extremely horrible for her to have to go through. I'd even sit in on some chemo treatments over the phone. The last one before the relapse was very special to me. I was known on the Chris and Daughtry boards as Rissy, and the family quickly dubbed me as Rissy Roo...and Roo and Rooey for short. I would also talk to Boey quite frequently. I would even get on the phone to encourage her to be strong and take her supplements so she could stay strong for the chemo and radiation. From what I hear, they are nasty tasting so I would do whatever I could to virtually hold her hand to take them and it would help! Even when her hands hurt from the sideaffects of chemo, she'd get online and chat with me, and we'd talk on the phone and play Hangman or Tick Tac Toe. She always had so much life and spunk in her, you'd never know if not for her bald little head that she was fighting for her life. She really became like family to me...her entire family did. I even spoke to her Wampsy on the phone once LOL. She relapsed after months of remission and I was devastated. Her mom and I just sat on the phone and cried. I cried for a long time every day for awhile when I found that out. I even had my mother helping me find other hospitals for them to go to since I didn't trust that one for a second. It's been rough since then, because there has been more fear in me this time around then ever. So much so, that I wouldn't bother the family or anything. I hoped they knew if they needed me, they knew where to find me.
Today, December 28th,2007...I must have sensed something. I like to think of it as Boey came to me and said goodbye. Ever since it was posted on her website that the family needed prayers, I started to keep her on my mind more and more if that was even possible. And lately for some reason my thoughts were "I hope she makes it through Christmas"...morbid for all those that are shocked by her passing, but again like I said, I must have sensed it coming. Today, above all, I had her on my mind ALL day. First I got an IM from a friend of mine asking about Joey's bulletin from a few days ago, which I had yet to see. It had a boring title and I didn't even open it the day it was posted, but she showed it to me. He mentioned in there that Boey and the Byers needed prayers and good energy. My stomach was in knots from that point on. It was like she was coming to me to say goodbye before she was even really gone. Then I got a message from a friend of mine that is also from Oregon, asking if it was ok to call me. Oh no...this couldn't be good. I immediately knew and then she told me the news that Boey had passed away today. I've been crying off and on since and the news hasn't even BEGUN to hit me yet. On one hand, I like to think that she's not in pain, but the human being in me hates the fact that her life was taken at such a young age. She was supposed to grow up and have her own kids one day *if I ever allowed any boy to so much as LOOK at her LOL*. I also hate every single doctor out there and every single scientist because I don't for one second believe that there is no cure for cancer. There is definitely a foolproof cure out there that they are holding for ransom because they are money hungry bastards who enjoy torturing innocent people and killing them because chemo and radiation doesn't always work! I am experiencing every grieving emotion known to man right now and I can't imagine how the family is handling this. I wish I had gotten to go see her before this happened, but I know she's my guardian angel now.
I'm shaking as I start this blog on December 28th 2007. This will not be posted right away, but a little earlier this evening I was informed that Jenessa Byers, my Boey, had passed away today. I don't think this blog will be that coherent, but I will try.
I am an avvid American Idol watcher. Have been since around season 3. The day I saw Chris Daughtry on during Season 5 in 2006, I was hooked. I was so hooked that I started to go on the American Idol message boards. This was in January. Then I had started to see a thread posted called the "Support Boey Thread". I didn't go in right away, simply because by the time it caught my eye, there were way too many pages, and since I had no clue what it was about, I didn't go in cuz I didn't think I'd catch up. In the meantime, my love for Chris was growing fast. The last time I was that transfixed on someone's talent was and still is the Backstreet Boys. So I continued to visit the boards, and one day, decided to make a fanbook of letters I would collect from his fans and hopefully get to give to him during the tour that summer. Shortly after making that decision, something told me to go into the "Support Boey Thread" and I did. The thread was very rarely off of the front page, so it had to be something interesting. Immediately after entering the thread, I was drawn in to a then 6 year old little girl's story of her battle with cancer. A CHILD with cancer? It's hard enough to swallow when an adult has it, this was just horrible. I then began to see a lot of myself in her, because she was such a tough little girl. My life in no way compares to a battle with cancer, but we share the same spunk, that's for sure! I thought, her being so drawn to Chris HAD to get back to him somehow! So I privately messaged her parents on the board and asked them if they'd mind me dedicating a few pages of the fanbook to their daughter. They graciously accepted my offer and away I went with creating 4 pages for her. A friendship quickly formed on the boards between myself and Rob and Rachel Byers. I am the first to admit I have a ton of friends online, but the bond I've shared with this family and Boey herself will always amaze me. It's not something everyone is lucky enough to have in their lives, ever. The day was quickly approaching that I'd hopefully get to meet Chris and give him the book and I found myself sad. By that time, I was already extremely close to the Byers family and had even formed a relationship that would only grow with Boey and felt sad that I was meeting her bald hero before she got to...IF she got to. I'm not one to think negative, but with the amount of times a child doesn't feel well when they have cancer, you worry by instinct. I was quickly put in my place by her family to go and enjoy myself though.
Even as late as that day, I didn't have tangible backstage passes at that point, but I was bound and determined to get that book to him personally and not have some security guard do it for me. So my friends and I went early and just walked around the parking lot. Then we heard about a line for backstage passes and we went as fast as we could. Sometimes they don't give out extras, so I was really worried. I quickly began to get questioned on the book though, and the first pages I'd show were Boey's. Luckily, one of the people giving passes out saw me out of the corner of her eye and heard me talking about the book (100 pages), and without question, handed my friends and I passes. I was going to complete what I thought was Mission Boey and make Chris aware of his biggest little fan! I said my hellos and handed him the book and immediately asked him the question "do you know about Boey?" and he did. My first and only thought was THANK GOD he knows about her. I'm not selfish so I didn't care that I wasn't the first informant. Just knowing you have a little girl who is your biggest fan, fighting this ugly disease had to be heartwarming and heartwrenching for him, but it was very necessary in my heart that he knew about her because not only had her courage and strength captivated me, her bond to "her Chrissy" made me melt. He was what kept her going when she'd see him on TV.
Boey then went on to meet her Chrissy herself on that same tour, and on his own with Daughtry and throughout all of this OUR bond only grew. I would talk to her parents daily, on the phone and online, and I'd even put the Absent Element and Daughtry CD's in when she got her port accessed which was extremely horrible for her to have to go through. I'd even sit in on some chemo treatments over the phone. The last one before the relapse was very special to me. I was known on the Chris and Daughtry boards as Rissy, and the family quickly dubbed me as Rissy Roo...and Roo and Rooey for short. I would also talk to Boey quite frequently. I would even get on the phone to encourage her to be strong and take her supplements so she could stay strong for the chemo and radiation. From what I hear, they are nasty tasting so I would do whatever I could to virtually hold her hand to take them and it would help! Even when her hands hurt from the sideaffects of chemo, she'd get online and chat with me, and we'd talk on the phone and play Hangman or Tick Tac Toe. She always had so much life and spunk in her, you'd never know if not for her bald little head that she was fighting for her life. She really became like family to me...her entire family did. I even spoke to her Wampsy on the phone once LOL. She relapsed after months of remission and I was devastated. Her mom and I just sat on the phone and cried. I cried for a long time every day for awhile when I found that out. I even had my mother helping me find other hospitals for them to go to since I didn't trust that one for a second. It's been rough since then, because there has been more fear in me this time around then ever. So much so, that I wouldn't bother the family or anything. I hoped they knew if they needed me, they knew where to find me.
Today, December 28th,2007...I must have sensed something. I like to think of it as Boey came to me and said goodbye. Ever since it was posted on her website that the family needed prayers, I started to keep her on my mind more and more if that was even possible. And lately for some reason my thoughts were "I hope she makes it through Christmas"...morbid for all those that are shocked by her passing, but again like I said, I must have sensed it coming. Today, above all, I had her on my mind ALL day. First I got an IM from a friend of mine asking about Joey's bulletin from a few days ago, which I had yet to see. It had a boring title and I didn't even open it the day it was posted, but she showed it to me. He mentioned in there that Boey and the Byers needed prayers and good energy. My stomach was in knots from that point on. It was like she was coming to me to say goodbye before she was even really gone. Then I got a message from a friend of mine that is also from Oregon, asking if it was ok to call me. Oh no...this couldn't be good. I immediately knew and then she told me the news that Boey had passed away today. I've been crying off and on since and the news hasn't even BEGUN to hit me yet. On one hand, I like to think that she's not in pain, but the human being in me hates the fact that her life was taken at such a young age. She was supposed to grow up and have her own kids one day *if I ever allowed any boy to so much as LOOK at her LOL*. I also hate every single doctor out there and every single scientist because I don't for one second believe that there is no cure for cancer. There is definitely a foolproof cure out there that they are holding for ransom because they are money hungry bastards who enjoy torturing innocent people and killing them because chemo and radiation doesn't always work! I am experiencing every grieving emotion known to man right now and I can't imagine how the family is handling this. I wish I had gotten to go see her before this happened, but I know she's my guardian angel now.