I had so much fun with my blog yesterday, I just had to do it again! I hope you all get a kick out of this one:

I speak fluent smart-ass. My mama speaks it. My daddy speaks it. My husband speaks it too, but he grew up a little further south in our county, so his is a slightly different dialect. Both his parents are fluent as well. And, I am very proud to say, we are raising both our boys to speak smart-ass. You know, you have to arm your children with everything you possibly can to help them succeed in this crazy world. So, I thought I would use some of my mastery of this language to help Chris get through another interview like the one recently with Rolling Stone.

I actually have quite a few ideas as to how Chris can handle really stupid interview questions, but here is one of my favorites. When he needs to get in control of an interview situation he can begin answering everything in the "form of a question". Just like Jeopardy. So here is an example with the transcript from his recent interview:

Note to Chris: Always lead into your answer with a loud "bonk" indicating your are buzzing in to answer. (This will drive the interviewer crazy!!)

Are you gonna watch it next season, or do you even care anymore? I mean—
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: Bonk ..... "What is you're trying to get me to say something controversial to further your career?"
ROLLING STONE: Yeah, I can imagine.
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: Bonk . . ."What is fake empathy to try to get me to feel comfortable talking to you?"
ROLLING STONE: Right.
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: — Bonk . . . "What is mindless agreement with everything I say in order to make me feel like we're "on the same team?".
ROLLING STONE: Right.
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: Bonk . . . "What is mindless agreement with everything I say in order to make me feel like we're "in this thing together?".
ROLLING STONE: Yeah. Well, I think that you have definitely gotten rid of that stigma, right? I mean—
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: Bonk . . . "What is dropping lines that you will later use against me to further your career?"
ROLLING STONE: Yeah. So you don’t think it is in decline? You think they just need to like rethink it a bit?
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: Bonk . . . "What is something "you" will say, that "I" will agree with, and you will take it out of context in your article?"
ROLLING STONE: Oh, okay, okay, gotcha.
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: Bonk . . . "What is pretending you get what I am saying in order that I will feel like you really "do" get what I am saying?"
ROLLING STONE: Yeah. Yeah, well, it—yeah.
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: Bonk . . . "What is mindless agreement with everything I say in order to make me feel like "you are my BFF?"
ROLLING STONE: Yeah, I definitely agree with you. I mean, I watched last season, and like they all sucked. [Laughs] It was boring, you know? Yeah.
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: Bonk . . . "What is this is probably one of the stupidest interviews I've ever done?"
ROLLING STONE: So we’ll see what happens.
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: Bonk . . . "What is what should happen is that you should go back to journalism school and hone up on your interviewing skills, and I should get back to what I was doing before you called?"
ROLLING STONE: Yeah, ‘cause there seems—
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: Bonk . . . "What is "seems" is like "assume", it makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me"?"
ROLLING STONE: Right. Yeah, and there seems to be so few rock acts. I mean—‘cause like last year there was nobody that rocked.
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: Bonk . . . "What is your kissing up to keep this interview going when it should have been over after that first stupid question?"
ROLLING STONE: Yeah, it’s weird.
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: Bonk . . . "What is it takes weird to know weird?"
ROLLING STONE: Yeah. Okay, Chris. Well, it’s—I think that wraps it up.
CHRIS DAUGHTRY: Bonk . . . "What is not soon enough for me?"

Then start jumping up and down going "did I win, did I win?"